During my spring break I decided to house/dog sit for an entire week. It has only been a day and a half and already it has been filled with drama.
For some reason I agreed to take the family whose house/dogs I am watching to the airport… at 3:30 in the morning. The only good part about that was the airport was pretty much empty and I am awesome with directions. Ok replace the word awesome with terrible. I am terrible with directions
I got out of the airport ok but once on the highway I couldn’t remember which exit I had to get off at seeing as it was 4am at this point it was pretty dark outside and I could not read the directions I wrote myself because for some reason I wrote them with a light blue inked pen. I got off at the next available exit so I could turn around and get off on the correct exit. That would have worked out great if I found the highway again, someone must have been playing a trick on me because the highway disappeared. I kept driving on and on until eventually I surprised myself and found a street I recognized and got myself back to the house, sure it took me twice as long but at least I made it. It was about 5:30am I decided I needed some sleep considering I only got 2 and a half hours the night before. My sleep was interrupted by very large puppy biting my hand, I woke up let him out and went back to bed, but not for long…after I fell asleep my phone rang and because I really wanted to talk to that person I couldn’t just ignore it. After that phone call I officially woke up and began my day.
My day was pretty normal, I went home for a little bit to grab a few things that I’d need for the next few days (extra clothes, shampoo, pjs, etc.) Then I picked up a dear friend of mine who ended up house sitting with me for the first three days. That night as I was letting one of the dogs out the other dog bolted out the door and ran towards the street, my friend ran after him barefoot. She lept off the porch in attempt to run after the dog and stop him for being run over by a car. Instead of landing on the nice green grass, she landed on a nice pile of dog poop. It was so gross and in between her toes, thank god it was her and not me because I might have puked. Besides, I am not going to lie seeing her scream out “THERE IS POOP IN MY TOES” was very funny I laughed so hard I practically cried. After this long night we decided to go out, we went to a giant house in a gated community. Because I had such a long day I wanted to leave 5 minutes after arriving but I stayed for a while. I stayed long enough to see a very real, very large, walrus head. I didn’t know people were allowed to hunt and kill walruses. Apparently you are, this is good news for all you folks out there who want a walrus head on their wall.
That night I locked the dogs out of the room my friend and i stayed in because they did not want us to sleep, every 2 seconds they would jump up onto the bed and walk all over us. Locking them out was a bad idea, because in the morning I walked down the stairs to dog piss on the carpet. That was a pleasant good morning greeting, I guess they were mad at me for locking them out. The rest of the day was pretty normal… went for a long walk, let the dogs out, watched a movie, let the dogs out, ate chipotle, let the dogs out, laughed as my friend almost stepped in dog poop again but she sort of leaped over it, let the dogs out, oh and did I mention I let the dogs out? I mean seriously how often do dogs normally go out. I feel like these dogs have weak bladders and need to go out every 20 minutes or else they will POOP ON THE FLOOR. Yeah that happened, and it was gross. (Gross is an understatement)
The best part was the dogs liked to chew up something every time I left the house. I turned it into a game, right before I left I’d take a look around the room and try and guess what they would chew up next. I’d give myself a high five for getting it right, self high fives look a lot like clapping, but that is besides the point.
The dogs have managed to completely destroy a pair of my shoes, part of a rug, a few pieces of paper, and a water bottle. Now before I leave I make sure to lock my stuff in a room to insure it will stay in one piece. I wonder what they are going to destroy next…
….to be continued….