Monthly Archives: May 2008

Stalker Mom


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Why aren’t there more moms on twitter?

Seriously though, why not?
My mother (god bless her) loves knowing where I am at all times. Yes, it’s true I’m an adult but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care or worry about me. Although she doesn’t call or text me every hour asking where I am, I know that she wants to. For her sake every once and a while I let her know what I’m doing, she loves that. Sometimes I ask her permission to do things or go places and she mocks me by saying, “How old are you? Why are you asking?”

So why aren’t there more mothers on twitter following their children? It’s the perfect way to stalk people without being over bearing. (God I sound so creepy sometimes)

Twitter is fun, everyone should do it.

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(Random Celebrity Name Here)

I have a rant and then some photos. But first, the rant…

I hate it when people say  “you know who you look like? (Random Celebrity Name Here)”  Why is it that everyone we know resembles a celebrity or famous person? Just because they might have the same color hair? There is a good chance A LOT of people have the same color hair. And just because I’m small does not mean I look like an Olsen twin. And I’m sorry but there NO resemblance between me and Hilary Duff.

People don’t look like celebrities. I don’t look like a celebrity, I look like me.
People see what they want to see, when you look at someone and try to see a celebrity, you will.

Celebrities that look like Muppets

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Tweet too much?

Some people think that I twitter a little too much. I might, but that completely depends on your definition of “too much” I know there are people that twitter a lot more than I do, and some people that twitter a lot less. I think that I fall right in the middle. Yes, there are some days where I twitter 4 thousand times but in my defense there is a good chance that on those days something very interesting is happening. I cannot help but twitter. It’s like mini blogging on the go.

I would love to see someone NOT twitter the things that I see on the train

Or the things that happen when I go to the circus

Or the many crazy people that I see in public places

Or the funny things that go on in my place of work

Or things my boyfriend says

Or the funny things I see kids doing

Or the funny things my sister says

Life is funny, so I tweet about it.

It would be funny if one day I twittered something about someone, and that someone happened to be following me. For example, lets say I saw someone dressed up as a hotdog and I twittered, “Wow this idiot thinks he is a hotdog”  Then that person in the hotdog suit read the tweet. That would be the day. I hope that happens, maybe not with an idiot in a hotdog suit but something similar.

If you are on twitter, let me know and we can follow each other. It’ll be fun.

Follow me.

If you are not familiar with twitter, click here for an excellent post on twitter and how to get started

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Reasons Why I Can’t Dump You…

You found my favorite blog for me when I couldn’t

After cruising through the blogosphere on a computer that was not mine I found my new favorite blog. I couldn’t wait to go home and add this blog to my RSS reader.

…too bad I did not remember the name of the blog. I searched for what seemed like forever for this blog with zero luck. I was deeply saddened that I would not get the joy and pleasure of reading this blog on a daily basis. I told boyfriend how good this new blog was and how sad I was that I didn’t remember the name of it, and that no matter how much I googled it, I could not find it.

Boyfriend then searched for about 5 minutes and found exactly what I was looking for. He is just a genius like that. Lucky for me I can now share with you my new favorite blog! It’s a good one, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s one of those Comical/Truthful/Sad/Happy/Life/Intelligent-type of blog.

Reasons why I dumped you

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My addiction

I’m addicted to something starts with an R and ends with a eese’s Peanut butter cup.

I came home this afternoon after not being home for a while. While I was driving I thought about the Reese’s Peanut Butter cups that might be at my house, I hoped they would be there. As soon as I got into my front door I looked for them. I was very happy to find that there were quite a few of them.

I haven’t stopped eating them since.

These might be the death of me. I feel like a fat cow because I have consumed so many of these delicious little treats. I should go eat a cucumber, those always make me feel thin. Maybe I’ll do that.

I sure hope I don’t become diabetic. That would suck.

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I’ll be in boyfriendville

Things I wish I could say to creepers.

I have a boyfriend, accept the fact that I don’t cheat on him and I would never consider it. No, not even with you. If that is something too hard for your brain to comprehend then stop talking to me.

You don’t care about me, so don’t pretend like you do. You are going a little bit too far just to get in a girls pants.

Stop.

Don’t tell me that you think about me naked.

Don’t say that you think my boyfriend is dumb. Clearly he’s not if he is dating me.

Don’t say things to me that you wouldn’t want another guy to say to YOUR girlfriend. (if you had one)

Don’t tell me that you want me.

Don’t touch my leg, my hand, or any part of me for that matter.

Don’t ask me personal questions that make me cringe

Don’t tell me how soft you think I am, I know I’m soft.

At first, I was flattered. But there is a slight chance we are letting this get out of hand, you are taking things too far. I’m glad you think I’m hot, my boyfriend of three years thinks so too. And yes, I am still attracted to him, stop asking me if I am.

 I promise there are other fish in the sea that are single and ready to mingle. mk?

I wouldn’t even be a good girl for you anyway, trust me. I’m so not your type, why can’t you see that? Fool.

Next time creeper asks me where I am my response will be…

“A place in Boyfriendville, you know just take Youarenevergoingtogetinmypants street down to I’mnotsingle way, turn left and I’ll be at Youdontstandachance which is right next to Blueballs Mall”

“See you there? Ok great, I’ll bring boyfriend”

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Your mom goes to college and plays the DS too



42 reasons my mom rocks

  1. She taught me how to read
  2. She thinks the sun shines out my ass
  3. She uses a Powerbook
  4. She asks if she can borrow my Nintendo DS lite to play in her free time
  5. She told me I was conceived in my grandma’s house
  6. Unlike everyone else in my family, she is wonderful with direction
  7. When we go out, we both get carded. In fact, she gets carded more than I do.
  8. She tells me I’m pretty
  9. She text messages me on a regular basis
  10. When my back hurts, she cracks it for me
  11. She goes to college and gets better grades than I do
  12. When she laughs water comes out her eyes
  13. One time she wouldn’t let me go to a pool party unless I brought a beach towel that matches my swim suit. She said, “You will look ridiculous if your towel doesn’t match!”
  14. She supports every decision I make, because she taught me how to make good ones.
  15. She adores my father unconditionally
  16. She has the amazing ability to only get 3 hours of sleep and still be in a good mood the next day while looking beautiful. How? Trust me, I wish I knew.
  17. She waxes my eyebrows
  18. When I was a teenager she took my eminem cd put it in the bible and told me she was praying for him
  19. As a child she always packed the BEST lunches
  20. She took yoga class with me
  21. She doesn’t like cats but bought two of them anyway because my sister and I wanted them
  22. She laughs at my stories
  23. She reads my blog
  24. She could not tell a lie even if she tried
  25. She read stories to me and my sisters every day when we were kids
  26. She is unlike anyone you will ever meet
  27. She thinks that Elvis Presely is still alive
  28. This past winter when we had a snow day, she told me she had to go to the store to pick up snow day supplies. I thought she would meant hot chocolate but she came back with chips, salsa, and margarita mix
  29. She can draw really really well
  30. Sometimes she has a southern accent
  31. When McDonalds was selling those teenie beanie babies she made sure my sisters and I all got them even though they would only give one out to every family at a time. She held up the line yelling at the manager until she got her way
  32. Her sex advice is, “practice makes perfect!”
  33. She is always late
  34. On my 20th birthday she played in the snow with me
  35. She had 3 children
  36. She smiles a lot
  37. She never thinks the worst of anyone
  38. She buys me my favorite soup
  39. She listens to same music as I do
  40. She isn’t afraid to try new things
  41. She always has time to listen to me
  42. She has always been patient with me, even when I’m being a brat

I could go on, I could say that one time she threw a handful of marshmallows at me and said, “SNOWMAN POOP!” But I am not going to. Because if I don’t stop now this list might turn into 400 reasons my mom rocks.

P.S. If you are reading this, I love you.

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