You make me nervous so I really can’t eat

We’ve all been there, that first date. The one where you are so nervous you don’t feel like eating. Sometimes it’s so bad you literally can’t eat and food ends up everywhere but your mouth and if you are lucky enough to get it in your mouth swallowing becomes a task much more difficult then it should be.

The last thing in the world you want to happen while on a first date is look like a fool, too bad that is what you end up looking like with food smeared all over your face and clothes. On top of that you want to have conversation, it’s hard to do that with a mouth full of food, you end up allowing your date to see way more then he or she should.

Because of all of this I have concluded a simple resolution (to be used on first dates only)

Cute Foods

  
Only order food that you know you will look adorable eating. Say no to messy foods such as large burgers and ribs. Instead order yourself some chicken fingers! Those always work out when trying to look cute. Pasta with smaller noodles (such as bowties) is always a winner too.

If you are having fruit don’t go for apples unless they are sliced. Instead eat blueberries, or grapes. Blueberries and grapes are a no fuss no mess fruit. if you want to appear a tad bit slutty eat a banana.

Salad might seem like a good option, but it’s not. Unless the salad has very tiny pieces of lettuce you will look like a horse chomping it down. This mistake is made often because we want to appear healthy on first dates.

Just remember to close your mouth while chewing and don’t take bites larger than your face. If you want to say something to your date (chances are you do) swallow what is in your mouth first, there is no rush. Try not to be too experimental either, you are nervous enough don’t try food you’ve never eaten before, chances are it will give you a stomach ache. One time my dearest older sister decided to eat octopus for the first time while on a first date. The octopus and her nerves made her stomach hurt so bad she eventually threw up…all over her date. True story. Needless to say they didn’t go out for a second date.

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