Monthly Archives: September 2008

Steve Rules

4 things you don’t need/want to know.

1. I met a guy named Mike but I for some reason I called him Steve. Steve had this tattooed on the back of his neck. It is quite possibly the funniest tattoo I have ever seen.

2. Diablo Cody (writer of the award winning movie Juno) tells haters off making me love her even more. Read it here.

3. You know you need more sleep when…
you take off your underwear to put on a new clean pair, then take the dirty underwear and put it right back on thinking it’s clean. Then not realizing you are wearing dirty underwear until you are out the door…too much info? Probably. But don’t lie, you think it’s funny.

4. Check out my the band that I am currently obsessed with. Sun Domingo! It is seriously some good music.

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Filed under Celebs, Entertainment, Life, Movies, Music, News, Pictures

*Dialing number to nearest strip club*

You’re so nice and you’re so smart

You’re such a good friend

I have to break your heart

I’ll tell you that I love you

Then I’ll tear your world apart

Just pretend I didn’t tear your world apart.

It came out forever ago but I am still listening to and loving the Juno soundtrack. It is definitely worth checking out. I want to buy all of Kimya Dawson’s cds. But considering I just received the smallest paycheck in the history of paychecks I am going to hold back on my compulsive buying habits for now. *sigh*

Maybe I should become a stripper, I hear they make good money. I don’t want to bog you down on money problems at all, I just feel like if I had a comfy chunk of cash (ccc) I could live my life a little more stress-free. When I go out for a cup of coffee I don’t want to feel guilty about it anymore.

I don’t own a required books for one of my classes, I told my professor it was because of a money issue. His response was, “You live downtown don’t you? You have to have some money.” …if only he knew

*dialing number to nearest strip club* “um hi, are you hiring?”

(Too bad I have too much respect for myself to that.)

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Filed under Life, Love, Movies, Music

really, sex?


Todays Blog Topic: Sex.

I have heard (as many of you have to) strategies men use to make themselves last longer than 2 whole minutes during sex (don’t worry guys, my mom always says, “practice makes perfect”) The most common strategy I hear is baseball. Men think about baseball while having sex just to make it last longer? I find it hilarious, and kind of empowering that they literally have to force themselves to think of something other than what they are doing in order to control themselves. (and they say women are the weaker sex, ha)

Although this is not common, it is my far my favorite. A guy told me his secret to long lasting love making…

“I say the pledge of allegiance in my head, it works every time”

Patriotic sex? Ha whatever works. Another guy said he thinks of penguins.

Remember kids, have sex responsibly. I hear that sex is the #1 cause for pregnancy and pregnancy often leads to an infant.

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I wrote a paper that was “partially plagiarized” (I failed to properly cite a source) which almost got me dismissed from school. That’s right, dismissed (aka kicked out) talk about harsh. I literally freaked out when I heard, I am still freaking out. Thankfully my professor decided not to report my paper to the dean, he could have. Instead he gave me an F on that assignment. I wish he knew what a good student I was, I never cheat. In fact, I hate cheaters. I love writing papers too, I’m good at it (very good). He doesn’t know that though, all he knows is that I cheated. Lazy people cheat so he probably thinks I’m lazy too. Crap. Way to start off the semester.

This week I have 3 more papers due, 3 more that I am deathly afraid to write.

Advice for the day: Don’t cheat. Ever. (seriously, don’t)

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Surfing on the lake…wait what?

I wonder who thought it would be a good idea to make this shirt.

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Since when do people surf in Chicago? It’s a lake guys, not an ocean. You can’t surf it.

Stupidest shirt ever.

 (If you own this shirt, sorry but you shouldn’t)

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Filed under Life, Pictures

I could give a million reasons why we should not be


You don’t love me

Don’t you say that you do

You can’t.

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Filed under Life, Love

The exit ramp walk, elephants, and cold showers

The rundown on what I’ve been up to lately

Not blogging– I know it’s awful, and I really really don’t like it. The no blogging habit stops now.

Walking up an exit ramp– I decided to take a cab at 6am instead of walking an hour to my destination. The cab driver had no idea what he was doing (go figure) and dropped me off in the middle of an exit ramp and just left me there. I did not tip this man, I don’t care if you don’t know your way around you should NEVER drop a cute little girl off all by herself on an EXIT RAMP! I had to walk a mile to my destination.

Taking a five hour long test– Yea. It felt like the ACT’s all over again. Is it bad that I enjoyed one of the sections? I caught myself smiling during the test.

Trying to pay attention to a teacher who’s boob is showing– Ok she is really nice and I am sure she had a lot of wonderful and educational things to say. But, her dress fell to one side leaving her exposed bra for the entire class to see. Not even just part of the bra, the ENTIRE thing. I couldn’t hear her.

Building an elephant– Build-a-bear came to my school ( I swear I’m in college) and let all the students build an animal. I made Eleanor the Elephant. She has lady bug slippers and polka-dotted sunglasses.

Getting told I am an angel– Apparently, according to the crazy homeless man on the train trying to sell poetry, having two dimples mean that you have graduated from this earth and you are an angel. He also told me I looked like Sarah Connor, can’t say I have ever heard that one before.

Taking cold showers– Not by choice, the new apartment had a hot water problem. It’s fixed now, thank God. Let’s just say with the way things were going, I would have stopped showering and been a stinky stinky fool.

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Filed under Life