Monthly Archives: October 2008

This weekend I…

-Dislocated my thumb while sitting on the toilet. (yea I wish I was making that up)

-Ate the best deep dish pizza in the city

-Danced the night away at my school’s homecoming boat cruise..my school does not even have a football team so I am not sure why it’s a homecoming dance

-Had liquor stolen by some 28 year old sketch-ball of a man.

-Laughed so hard I could not control myself, I literally wheezed. After the wheezing tears started streaming down my face as I laughed so hard my stomach hurt I thought I was going to puke, or pee my pants either one, or both. That could have been awkward

-Got my make up done for free… I looked like a hooker/raccoon/person that got punched in the eyes. Icky.

-Had my picture taken by a polaroid camera, now I wish I carried one of those around with me all the time.

-Roommate and I drew little pictures on everyone’s peephole including our own so no would would suspect us.

-After playing knock-knock ditch (similar to ding-dong ditch, only without a doorbell) Roommate and I got caught, and chased down the hall as we screamed waking up our entire floor at 2am on a Sunday night. In the end we finally met the guy we have been knock-knock ditching and he gave us free candy, we left him some pixie sticks the next time we knock-knock-ditched his door.

-Until next time, I leave you with this lovely picture. This is the best ROFL(Rolling On Floor Laughing) picture taken ever.

I love my life and how often I laugh.

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Just give me your credit card

Everyday I get hassled on the street  by some hippies that work for greenpeace. Most of the time I love it when  they approach me, I will never give them my money but when they first approach someone they usually say,

“Do you want to save the world today?”

And I being the smart-ass I am, respond with one of two answers,

1) “Actually I was on my way to do that right now, you’re slowing me down”

2) “Why, are you handing out super powers?”

Or if I am feeling extra frisky I’ll say,

“The world needs to die”

(this goes without saying but, I don’t mean that last one. I love the planet)

Yesterday I noticed a greenpeace employee making eye contact with me, I was excited for the question he was going to ask me. Instead he let me down, he asked if I could talk to him for a few minutes, I shook my head no but then he proceeded to follow me. Then he said, “Just give me your credit card”

I stopped dead in my tracks. ‘

Me- “What?”

Hippie “Give me your credit card, you won’t even think twice about it.”

Me- “Does that honestly work for you?”

We talked for about 20 more minutes about saving whales, global warming, and toxins that are emitted into their air from electronics. his facts were wrong, I made sure he knew that my ipod was in fact NOT emitting any toxins into the air. I also told him that humpback whales are still being killed illegally by the Japanese. Then I asked,

Me- ” Do you ever get discouraged? Thousands of people ignore you every day”

Hippie-” I am not standing out here for them, I am standing out here for people like you, who care”

Me- “what part of this conversation makes you think that I care?”

He smiled. He smiled during most of our convo, he even smiled when I told him he was wrong. I think he was happy I knew something about the world.

Hippie- “It’s only $15 dollars a month”

Me-” Listen, I can’t afford free. I am one of those poor college students who lives off of soup and granola bars, and no I am not kidding. Besides, there is no way I’d give greenpeace $15 dollars a month because they are not a non for profit organization, so my $15 dollars won’t save the whales, it will just pay people like you to stand on the street begging someone to listen”

He smiled again then shook my hand, told me it was nice talking to me and said he hopes to talk to me again.

I don’t know why but I signed up for the greenpeace newsletter.

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Move the Rug

I invented a new game called move the rug. There is a boy who lives on my floor, he has a pink rug in front of his door. I like to take that rug and put it in front of other peoples doors. He usually finds it within 24 hours and puts it back and I attack again the next morning. He has no idea it’s me. In fact,I have even placed the rug in front of my door.

At one point I thought for sure I lost the rug forever, stupidly I put the rug on an elevator. You can’t choose which elevator you ride on and it was just my luck that the one elevator I put the rug on never opened for me so I had no idea if it was still in there. The rug was missing for a couple of days. Thankfully, he got it back eventually. I decided to no longer put the rug on the elevator.

I love my new game!

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Make a statement, put raccoons in someones car

My sisters school (which happens to be a christian university) got shut down the other day on account of really bad racism. Someone had the nerve to put raccoons in a black students car. What point was he or she trying to make? What sort of statement is that? If you are black you deserve to have raccoons in your car? What the hell, I don’t care who you are, that is wrong and not to mention really stupid.

Come on society, I thought we were better than that.

I am disappointed and I think people suck.

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I like to lollipop kiss

How to Lollipop kiss
This is a special Annette guide.

First, look at your target with seductive eyes. Then, in your best sexy voice tell him “I like to lollipop kiss” He’ll say something like “what’s that?” or “show me”

That is when you provocatively and aggressively push your target up against a wall. Place your hands on his stomach or his face. Then, stare into his eyes as you move closer to his face. Slowly move toward his neck be close enough that he can feel your breath, move up towards his ear and whisper in a very breathy sexy whisper, “Sucker” and walk away.

https://i2.wp.com/farm1.static.flickr.com/35/72264624_a583e1feaf.jpg

Lollipop kissing sounds kinky, too bad it’s all just a giant tease.

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The Stunt Man

Why anyone would want to do a stunt man shot is beyond me. I fail to see any pleasure in it but hey, to each their own.

The Stunt Man Shot
Snort a line of salt (yes, I said SNORT)
Take a shot of tequila
Squirt lime in eye (just in case snorting salt wasn’t painful enough why not temporarily blind yourself)

https://i0.wp.com/www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/993/50166893.JPG

I know an idiot… er I mean guy, that actually did this.

Is the stunt man something you would try?

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I promise I won’t post this on facebook.

After hours of eating candy and watching Gilmore Girls roommates and I brought cupcakes and a couch to a Korean girl who lives down the hall. It was her birthday and she hardly knows anyone here because she just moved so she’s new here. She was so happy she gave us each an apple and then took pictures of us sitting on her couch in the dark (I’m positive the pictures look like they belong in a scary movie) after the pictures she showed us the teddy bears she has made herself.

When we left her apartment the sugar started to get to us. I’m not sure how it happened but this little roommate decided it would be a good idea to take my hoodie and pretend she was a dinosaur.


(she is going to hate that I posted this picture of her. She told me not to put it on facebook, she never said anything about my blog)

She went through the halls, in the elevator, the lobby, and best of all, she barged into someones apartment (who we didn’t even know) they had people over, all those people started screaming as if they were being robbed.

Now whenever I see those people we just laugh, no words exchanged, just full on laughter.

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