Dear Blog Readers,
This post is very crucial. It is tremendously important that you listen to what I say and take my advice very seriously. Please know that I am writing to you with personal experience on the subject at hand.
First- be aware of what you are deathly allergic to
Second- make sure that item stays far away from your body
Third- Do not take more allergy meds then the box says
Fourth- Make sure you do not take the allergy meds on an empty stomach
Fifth- Do not consume alcohol after taking allergy meds on empty stomach
If you do not follow this advice you might be driving all alone and experience your throat closing and swelling up to the point where you can’t breath. It might feel like you just swallowed a bag of marbles. You’ll want to feel better so you’ll pop too many allergy meds without reading the box beforehand unaware of the side effects which include, drowsiness and excitability. You’ll feel great for a little while your throat will calm down,then you’ll feel like having a glass wine which goes straight to your head, then you might fall over at any given moment in front of people, everyone will laugh and think you are a crazy drunk then you’ll pass out. Even after waking up, you will still feel completely stoned for the next two days.
Trust me, you’ll be messed up. And if you have my luck, you’ll do it in front of your boyfriends entire family…on Thanksgiving.
Let me tell you, it was the most interesting Thanksgiving thus far.