Monthly Archives: February 2009

A true story about the non-cute 26 year old boy

I was at a bar and there was an non-cute 26 year old boy talking to me. It was fun for a few minutes..

He asked me if I wanted another drink, I said no.
He asked me if I wanted to dance, I said no.

Then he asked me who the girl was sitting next to me, I told him it was my cousin (she wasn’t but she looks like it) I introduced them.

He asked me If i would switch seats with him. He said, “I want to sit next to your hot cousin”

I switched seats with him. Then I had to sit next to his ugly friend. I told him my name was Stacy even though it’s not. Oh what a night.

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In 2006 I liked a boy named Jim.

Yesterday at dinner someone said something really funny. We were discussing Paris Hilton and how she won an award for worst actress (it’s about time, she’s bad at acting even when she’s just being herself) We started reminiscing about the time Paris Hilton came out with a cd…

Alyssa- “I remember when the Paris Hilton song stars came out because it was 2006 and I liked a boy name Jim and he was dating a girl named Kathy who I was friends with on Myspace and that was the song she had on her profile then I laughed cause I was like HA Jim is dating a loser!…Then I got sad because he chose to date a loser over me…”

She could have said “yea remember how awful that song was?” but she didn’t and it made me laugh.

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I used to think I was invincible..

It’s true. I did. I was the overly confident girl that thought no matter what no one could ever hurt me. Especially a man. It never occurred to me that sometimes certain men are stronger than me even if I am curiously strong for my size. I always thought that if a man tried to forcefully make me do anything that I’d be able to handle it…

Then there was this one time two male friends of mine were playing the game Monkey In the Middle with me..

…I was the ball.

It was from that moment on as I was flying through the air back and forth between these two males that I realized I do not always have total control and sometimes men are not only bigger than me, but stronger too. I am a little scared and feel like I should sign up for self defense classes asap because next time the two males might not be friends of mine and they might want to play a game other than Monkey In the Middle.

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Not Getting Lucky

If I was in the dating world I’d be really tempted to wear this shirt on a date just so there isn’t any confusion

(From Charlotte Russe)

I know…I can be really mean sometimes.

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Valentine’s Day Meatloaf.

For Valentines day my Granny made meatloaf.

I got a kick out of it and felt like it was blog worthy.

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This week…

I put googly eyes on my bedroom door and my toilet. (the toilet is now named Rosita)

I hung my tutu’s left over from my two two birthday party I had for turning 22. (note: those tutu’s were meant for 5 year olds and we were some how able to fit into them.)

I went out to eat and ordered a salad. Look closely, the salad had goldfish on it. Tasty.

Roommate and I took underwear out of our friend Connor’s room while he was gone and put it up on a bulletin board for all to see.

Connor taped food and cigarettes to my door.

door decoration by you.

This tortilla fell off my door and was lying in the hallway when there was a tour of my building going on.I’m sure the tour was pleased.

Roommate and I put princess Valentine’s day cards on everyone’s door, even the storage room got some love.

storage room love by you.

This is Wilfred, he is a mouse I made entirely out lint and googly eyes.

This is Wilfred, he's a lint mouse by you.

One of my roommates decided to count plastic bags one day, roll them up nicely, made a sign, and posted it up on a bulletin board for the public. She specified on her sign that these bags are being given away for free, because you know sometimes people charge you to take their plastic bags that they got for free from random stores..

Someone made fun of my roommate by  hanging a bag of trash on the same bulletin board, declaring that it was also free.

high demand by you.

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The man with the pony-tail with the short guy in the lobby

As I walked into my building’s lobby there was a man with a pony tail standing there with his short friend (and I mean short, this guy was under 5 feet)

Man with pony-tai to me: “Why hello there, I love this lobby”

Short guy to man with pony-tail: “Look at her man! She’s SO pretty!”

Man with pony-tail to short guy: “Yes she is”  

Man with pony-tail to me: “So…do you like art?”

Short guy to man with pony-tail: “You don’t get it man..she’s TOO pretty for you!”

Man with pony tail to me: “I hope you have a good night”

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