Here on the 18th floor of the building where I live there is a girl who is not fond my roommate and I, in fact we are almost positive she hates us. We gave her a little nick name, “Stick up bum.” There is also a boy on this floor we like to play pranks on. Late last night we received a letter from the boy pretending to be stick up bum. Take a look at this letter, it’s pretty funny;
I hate you both. Every time I think of you I slam my head in the fridge door. You make me want to vomit. If I had the choice to be roommates with you or two rabid baboons I would pick three rabid baboons and be very happy about it. Every time I walk by your room I fart and I hope you smell it. I want to beat you both to death with my green hat. If I ever see you dancing in the window again I am going to stab myself in the eye with a fork.
Your friend in 1820
ps- I’ve got a stick I want you to have.