Sunday morning (and by morning I mean afternoon) I woke up to find that someone had stolen my big bottle of Captain I just bought the night before. So naturally I yelled, “WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?” I love being able to say when it’s relevant.
I am a very sneaky and smart person, the dbag who stole my Captain didn’t realize who he was messing with. I was not about to let that wanker get away with the crime he committed. After some research was done I figured out who comandeered my liquor..
So I did what needed to be done, I wore an eye patch, knocked on his door, when he opened his door I pushed him aside and said “Excuse me” in the most snotty girl voice I am capable of, walked into his kitchen, took the rum, and walked out without saying a word. (that is all true except for the eye-patch part, I wish I was wearing an eyepatch)
Clearly this man with half a brain knew to stay out of my way, he didn’t try to stop me, he just stood there dumbfounded. As I walked out the door I heard him say “have a good night”
and he thought he could take my rum. HA