I am converting into a lefty. Why? Because my right hand failed me and I’m stuck in this thing for 4-6 weeks. When my doctor (whose looks resembled a frog) told me to keep this thumb prison on for 6 weeks I just looked at him and said “and by 6 you mean 3, right?” he didn’t like my joke.
Whenever someone asks me what happened I change the story.
I was having a thumb war with sasquatch
I was swimming with little mermaid when a shark attacked her, I punched the shark to save Ariel
I ran into a burning building to save 14 children and tripped on my way out
Sex with a prostitute, it’s dangerous
Obama bit me.
I am an elephant trainer, an elephant sat on me.
I was in a roller derby tournament
The truth is…the true story is very boring.