Tag Archives: Life

Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?

You’re just doing your own thing and some one comes out the blue,
They’re like,
“Alright, yeah can I take your digits?”
And you’re like, “no not in a million years, you’re nasty
please leave me alone.”

You can’t knock him out and you can’t walk away. You’re just left standing there trying desperately to think of the politest way to say;
No you can’t have my number”

Him: “Why?”

“because I lost my phone”

But then you say something like,

“Oh yeah, actually yeah I’m pregnant, having a baby in like 6 months so no… ”

Him: “You look alright baby, what’s your name?”

“Are you stupid, or just a little slow? Now I’ve gotta go cause my house is on fire, and I have herpes, err no I have syphilis…”

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Doppleganger Week

Doppleganger is Facebooks latest fad.

In order to celebrate Doppelganger Week, Facebook users switch their profile pictures to famous people they have been told they resemble. It could be Michael Jackson, Zach Efron, or if you’re lucky, Natalie Portman or Jennifer Aniston

The trend appears to be catching on like wildfire, so much so that its success is being compared to that of the “bra color” status updates. The bra color trend had women updating what color bra they were sporting that day in order to raise awareness for breast cancer.

Here is my contribution to Doppleganger week. No, I am not going to put it on Facebook. This is me and boyfriend:

It’s not a celebrity but these are the two characters I thought were most like us so I broke the rules a little bit. I think it still counts.

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#Thingsmyboyfriendsaysinhissleep

Shawn in mid sleep rushes out of bed and into the corner of the room.

Me: “Babe, what are you doing?”

Shawn: “There’s something in the bed”

Me: “What? Where is it? What is it?”

Shawn: “It’s on your back”

Me: “Get it off!”

Shawn: “Noooo, it’s a monster”

Good to know that while in deep slumber my boyfriend would not save me from the monster on my back, he would just stand in the corner staring at it.

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Songs We Sing

Today, January 9th 2010 (11 days away from my birthday) My favorite artist is…

Matt Costa

I am going to listen to him all day. I am so excited.

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High Heels

Personally I feel like every woman should be able to walk in heels without feeling completely out of place up there. I understand this task is not the easiest one in the world which is why I have decided…

By the age of 25 every women should be able to successfully walk in heels.

At 25 years old I feel like there isn’t a good excuse to not be able to walk in heels. I’m 22, soon to be 23 I still have some time to practice but I don’t want to be able to just walk in them, I want to able to skip, run, and jump. In order to accomplish this I have just been running back and forth in heels, yes I do look ridiculous but it’s fine.

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Twitter Killed My Blog

I used to update my blog everyday. It was just a natural daily routine.

Then I became addicted to Twitter.

The stuff I used to blog about is now shortened into a 140 character tweet. I want to live in a world where my blog and my twitter are able to coexist. I can and I will make my blog and my twitter get along and play nicely.

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Once a Righty, Now a Lefty

I am converting into a lefty. Why? Because my right hand failed me and I’m stuck in this thing for 4-6 weeks. When my doctor (whose looks resembled a frog) told me to keep this thumb prison on for 6 weeks I just looked at him and said “and by 6 you mean 3, right?” he didn’t like my joke.

Whenever someone asks me what happened I change the story.

I was having a thumb war with sasquatch

I was swimming with little mermaid when a shark attacked her, I punched the shark to save Ariel

I ran into a burning building to save 14 children and tripped on my way out

Sex with a prostitute, it’s dangerous

Obama bit me.

I am an elephant trainer, an elephant sat on me.

I was in a roller derby tournament

The truth is…the true story is very boring.

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